Before we start on this item the Belly Achers wish to issue a heartfelt apology to our readers for appearing overly shallow and somewhat sexist, because really, we’re all progressive, non-gender biased, metrosexual, sensitive and in touch with our feminine side. In fact, we suspect there may be a closet cross dresser in our midst, but that’s another story altogether.
But, this indisputably eye-catching photo makes us wonder a couple of things…First, is this is what happens when you mix a Dutch company with an American one? If so, we highly recommend more Amer-Dutch mergers! Secondly, why is it whenever we get a package delivered, the delivery person never, ever, ever, everrrrr looks like this? And heaven forbid the delivery people we see, ever show up wearing shorts like this! *Gasp* Oops FedOops! There is hardly a day that goes by that we don’t receive some sort of press release on how ‘green’ and socially responsible some company or another is. And while we applaud any environmentally friendly move (the page you’re reading now is actually made from a recycled diaper and the e-version composed of recycled electrons, rejuvenated in a papaya juice and rainwater bath), we had our attention drawn to a recent press release from one of the global express giants.
We’re changing their name just so they won’t get too upset with us – or sue us for that matter. Our (perpetually grouchy) legal department is always complaining about some liable nonsense thingy…which we don’t really understand (and quite frankly Scarlett we also don’t give a…). And so back to the story. We received a nice crisp white envelope from FedOops the other day and lo and behold, inside was two, very nice, three page press releases detailing two environment friendly initiatives: The first, an Eco-Drive programme in the Asia Pacific that touts improved fuel efficiency by changing the daily driving habits of hundreds of FedOops drivers.
Ok, sounds good. The next one, titled ‘Shipping FedOops Envelopes is Now Carbon-Neutral’, sounds even better – carbon neutral, 100 per cent recycled content and hey, these babies even neutralise carbon emissions! From the FedOops Asia boss himself: “Our customers and the global climate will benefit from FedOops shipping documents in a way that neutralizes carbon emissions.” Cool! This surely is a global breakthrough – an emissions neutralizer! We can just see the FedOops boys and girls running around zapping carbon emissions with their hand-held neutralisers, à la Men in Black!
But seriously, the thing that left the Belly Achers standing scratching our collective heads in shear gob smacked wonderment was the fact that FedOops sent us the very nice crisp press releases printed on lovely bleached 80grm paper with full colour logo, in an equally premium bleached white envelope. Hmmm. We’re thinking – just maybe – FedOops ran out of their supplies of recycled paper and envelopes. Or maybe, they ran out of recycled electrons and hence couldn’t email the important eco-press releases to us. Or…maybe…it’s really more about marketing than a real commitment to the environment!? Naaaaah, couldn’t be….