A handful of US Transport Security Administration (TSA) workers at Miami International Airport creatively turned their security positions into a lucrative business plundering passenger’s suitcases and stealing as many as 1,500 items. Don’t you feel so much better knowing you have one of those fancy TSA-approved locks on your suitcase – at least that way they won’t have to break the lock to get at your valuables! As many as six TSA workers have been given the boot from their airport jobs after an internal sting found workers swiping jewelry, perfume and a number of electronics including iPods and computers from luggage. As one incredulous passenger observed: “Obviously, you know, you trust airport security enough to not have those kinds of issues, its unbelievable!” Yup, wecouldn’t agree more.

And we’re not too sure about the Canadians either! – In the Belly Achersnext life we reckon, because of our sarcastic nature – ya think? – we are going to comeback as a lesser life form. We’re thinking ifwe are really unlucky it will be an airportsecurity officer we are reincarnated as.But, we’re trying to look on the bright side– after all, we’ll get paid to be rude, gruff,completely lacking a sense of humour,authoritarian, god-like and most of all,we get to steal stuff from people’s luggage(see earlier item), ruin people’s holidays….oh, and here’s one…force people to taketheir clothes off!

Take for instance, a Canadian woman who arrived at Montreal airport only to find out that her name and birth date matched that of a wanted criminal on one of those notorious computer data bases. After the 43-year old’s luggage was checked for drugs, she was read out her rights, handcuffed and taken to a cell. But the worst was yet to come.

A female police officer told her to take off her clothes to show whether she had a large pink tattoo – the identification of her namesake criminal – on her butt. When no tattoo was found on her backside, she was allowed to put on her clothes. She had barely dressed when the female officer returned and asked her undress again to make sure that the tattoo was not removed by laser treatment!

Her ordeal ended only when further computer checks showed that her physical description was different from that of the wanted criminal – well duhhh! Here at Belly Ache Central we’re thinking that maybe it was just far more interesting for the security personnel to check her bare butt than to check her more obvious – and fully-clothed – physical appearance! She was let off with the sage advice to change her name to avoid future problems. She has since filed a complaint with the police watchdog and the Canadian border Security Agency (CBSA). You go girl!